Just His Presence

I have wanted to be a missionary for...well it feels like forever. But lately, doubts started popping up in my mind.

Doubts like...

"What if people don't like me or want to listen to me?"

"What if I can't make a difference?"

"What if I'm not a good enough speaker?

"What if I don't know enough?"

These questions, and more, have been plaguing me for a while now. It's been quite the downer, because this is what I wanted to do with my future. I wanted to minister to people, whether I went to a foreign land or showed Jesus to someone just down the street. But how can I do that with all my shortcomings? Needless to say, I was definitely stressing out about my future.

And then a speaker at Downtown Church of Christ's Sunday night singing service (wow, try saying "Sunday Night Singing Service" five times fast) really touched my heart and got me to thinking. So this post will be a compilation of my thoughts throughout the week.

When God appeared to Moses, Moses had reasons as to why he could not go to Egypt. In the same way, when God appeared to Gideon, Gideon also had his list of shortcomings ready to recite to God. Both of these men, like me, had reasons as to why they did not think they were fit to minister to those that God was calling them to minister to. The next part of these men's stories, though, is what made me realize how silly I had been.

God doesn't say "No, no Moses! You're the best public speaker out there! You're going to do great, because you have such a talent for negotiation. I need your gift." God also doesn't say to Gideon, "No, you're definitely old enough! You are going to do great. I mean, look at how great you are at talking to people and getting people to listen!"

No, there was no reassurance of their talents. Not once did God say, "With your talents, you can do this."

What's my point?

My point is that we need to be focusing on what God DOES promise them. He doesn't reassure them and tell them that THEY can do it. God instead promises that He will be with them. That's it. It has nothing to do with the people and everything to do with God and His mighty power.

Once I realized that, my whole view began to change. I had been so wrapped up in worrying if my talents were developed enough to change people's lives and if my talents were good enough to make a difference. This isn't about me. This is about God doing amazing, wonderful works. This is about God touching people's hearts. He doesn't need me, He doesn't need us. And yet, He allows us to play a part in making people's lives better. If we help Him in His works, it's a gift that He has given us, not a requirement for His plans to succeed.

My encouragement to you this week would be to remember that His presence is what He promises us, and that His presence in our lives is so much more than enough for all of us. And when you get discouraged because of your shortcomings, remember that God was never relying on us. It is us that needs to learn to fully rely on Him, and that no matter how unworthy or ungifted you think you are, it's never about you and your abilities. So don't worry if you think you're not good enough to help someone, because God can work through anyone, wherever they are and use whatever abilities they have to glorify Him.

Be salt and light!!

~Hannah~